Mary was the type of girl, she always liked to fly.

I haven't updated this in a while. I feel kinda bad...but not really. You might have noticed that I have changed the title of my blog to This is the Life on Mars. If you recognize that song, score one for you. If you don't, it's from Buddha for Mary by 30 Seconds to Mars. I listened to nothing else this weekend--30 Seconds to Mars, that is. I listened to other songs of course. But my favorite of theirs will always be Buddha for Mary. And yes, I'm about to post the song on here. Listen to it before you read on, and I'm sorry it's a bit long. But it's worth the five-ish minutes, I swear.



So I don't know why that strikes me so much. I mean, duh, it's supposed to be striking. It is about rape and not believing in God and all. But stuff like that doesn't usually hit me that hard. Especially when you think about the other kinds of music I listen to...and I won't torture your lovely ears with that. And yet.

SUNDAY I find myself sitting on the very top of the roof of the play structure at the playground by my house. By myself. Trust me, it's a long way up. I can see pretty damn far. And I'm listening to Buddha for Mary. And crying. If you know me at all, you know that crying isn't something I do. Emotion in general isn't something I do. But there it is. Me. Crying. It could have had somthing to do with the gray clouds, or my lonesomeness, or my confusion about a whole lot of things, or the fact that I was twenty feet off the ground.

But what I really think is that the combination of religion, rape, and it being the story of a girl that I somehow relate to that made the tears. I'd really like to discuss this experience with someone willing to give me their ears...and trust. I've got plenty of time for the next month.



Anyhow, that is the story of the blog title change. We'll see how long it lasts before I become too depressed by it.